“Oh great, another book review blog.” If that’s not what you thought when you clicked this, then you are probably a better friend than I am. Because let’s face it, there are how many book blogs out there now? And they all seem to review the same books, over and over. Let me get one thing out of the way first: if I could, I would put every copy of all Twilight and 50 Shades iterations on a big pyre and burn them like a disco inferno. I am not your typical woman, nor am I your typical book blogger.

Who Are You?

My name is Patricia. I am 28 years old from Georgia (the state, not the turbulent country). I have two orange tabby cats named Pixel and Pumpkin who are probably as close to children as I’ll ever come. This is probably a good thing, because if the amount of money I spend on things my cats don’t need is any indication, I would go bankrupt spoiling an actual human child.

By day, I have a bog standard 8-5 job – I work in higher education administration. By night, I am Batman, as long as Batman is a sleep-deprived 28 year old who attends night classes twice a week for his Masters in Public Administration. When I am not being Batman, I volunteer for the Crisis Text Line, play video games on Steam and sometimes stream them to my Twitch, take way too many naps, and read. That last part is where you come in, person-who-unfortunately-stumbled-across-this-blog-post.

I have been reading since I was 3 years old, and once I picked up my first book I never stopped. Reading is like a crack addition to me, but considerably healthier. I mostly read young adult, though occasionally some new adult, middle grade or – gasp! – adult makes its way in there. I prefer fiction vastly, and have never been a fan of nonfiction. Even historical fiction puts me on the struggle bus, because I just don’t find any of that exciting. Other little girls dreamed of living on the prairie, or in New York City in the 1920s. Me? I threw my body pillows on the floor from my bed and pretended I was stranded on the Titanic with my stuffed animals. Other than that, I never cared much for historical precedence. (Usually about half of them would survive. After all, I was educated pre-Titanic movie and the nature of the beast is that the ocean is a rough mistress. Also, the Mythbusters proved that they could not have both fit on that door).

The Patrician Book Rating Scale of Justice

Rather self-explanatory as book ratings go, but I still feel the need to explain how I rate my books. I use a five star system, and while I occasionally will give a half star I tend to stay away from complexities like that and just walk due north to the nearest whole number.

1 Cat – Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow. This book is complete garbage. I can’t believe I finished it. I wish I could go back in time and get the hours I wasted on it back.

2 Cats – I’d like to get my time back, but it’s not brain-meltingly bad. Unlike a 1 Cat book, I won’t berate someone for reading it, but I will give them a slight judgmental side-eye.

3 Cats – Meh. This book was just that – “meh.” Was it good? Not really. Was it bad? Not especially. Was it pages bound by a cover of some sort, printed with ink that I read with my eyes and brain? Yes, yes it was.

4 Cats – There is usually one or two glaring flaws that prevent me from giving this book the 100% love and adoration it might very well deserve. It’s hard for me to give a 4 – I usually give a 5 or a 3. A 4 is just so close to perfection, but not quite there – if a giant middle finger were a number, it would be a 4 on a 1-5 scale.

5 Cats – This book is flaw-free and I drank it in like an infant with a sippy cup.  (Likely means I also cast it aside and cried a little at some point). This book will make my year-end top books list, and will likely wind up in the hands of 3-5 of my friends by the time Christmas rolls around, because I will explode if nobody I know reads it.

Hey Girl Let Me Holler At You

Okay. My Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Steam and Twitch accounts are all linked in the sidebar. There is also a contact form set up that will go straight to me if you have anything to say that takes time and energy. I am still figuring out how often I will post and how many of those posts will be non-reviews, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it soon enough, friend. Thanks for taking this journey with me.